I have been playing a lot of Baldur's Gate 3 with my oldest recently and it has been an absolute blast. We are having the best time. He asked me one night what was the last video game I had enjoyed as much as this. A few came to mind, but I had to say the first BloodRayne PC Game I played in the early 2000s. He asked if I still had it and I told him not my originals (no idea what happened to them) but I did have the "updated" versions that came with the the two Uwe Boll movies. That got us talking about the movies and Uwe Boll...and here we are. I checked at found it odd that I had not watched them for my October Horror Movie Marathon before. Well. I had, but never here, save for the third movie.
So. Let me correct that. I am pulling the wild card and taking "Video Game Movie" today.
This one stars Kristanna Loken as the titular dhampir Rayne. Ok. Let's get to this right now. This is an Uwe Boll movie. Don't expect much. BUT along the way I discovered the secret of Uwe Boll. They guy is not Spielberg, or Scorsese, or even Corman. He is though a guy that likes to have a movie with a lot of over-the-top violence to level of cartoon and maybe tell a fun story. Once you get that, settle in with some corn and enjoy.
Ok Kristanna Loken has the right look to be honest so I can buy into her as Rayne. The story is similar enough to the video game with some interesting details. First Rayne is not yet the bad ass she is in the game. Secondly instead of this taking place in modern-day America and Europe, it is in Easter Europe of the 18th Century. Ok. Honestly, I am cool with that. Ben Kingsley plays the master Vampire Kagan in only what can be described as "I got bills to pay too." Michael Madsen is here playing Michael Madsen. Michelle Rodriguez is also here because I think her and Loken were a thing at the time. But none of that matters because we also get some great cameos. Bill Zane is here at his Billy Zaniest. I am guessing his request was "can I play an arrogant count?" Udo Kier is here, because...well why not, I mean if you need a creepy priest member of a secret cabal dedicated to stopping vampires and Mads Mikkelsen is busy. And Meat Loaf (credited as "Meat Loaf Aday") here as a vampire count. I am guessing his request was "I want to be a pompous vampire lord. Oh. and I want 6 or 7 naked women in bed with me."
Surprisingly, even given the game, there is not a lot of gratuitous nudity (save for the above-mentioned scene) here. Lots and lots of gratuitous violence and lots of fake blood everywhere. Hell. The last 10 minutes is just a slow-mo super cut of grisly deaths from the movie.
The story is simple. Rayne is a dhampir. Her vampire father Kagan wants to rule the world. He wants the relics of Beliar (here a super vampire, in the game a demon) to become unstoppable. The Brimstone society is hunting them both.
Don't go looking for a bigger plot than that.
Up next is BloodRayne II. Also from Boll. But this time our heroine is played by former model-turned-actress Natassia Malthe. Now set in the 19th century and headed out to the American West. Rayne must stop the most dangerous vampire on the American frontier. Billy the Kid. Played by Zack Ward. Because let's be honest here. When the casting director gets request for Vampire Billy the Kid the list likely begins or ends with Zack Ward. Since Michael Madsen's character died in the last one we go to the next name on the list and bring in Michael Paré. I'll be honest here. They sold me on it. Yeah.
Would I have bought this DVD if it didn't have the PC game included? Probably not, but I am glad I did because like the 1st and 3rd movies it was just a lot of over the top blood and gore and silly fun.
But also like the other two in the "BloodRayne Trilogy" (that's right. That's what I am calling it!) there is a kernel of a good idea here.
Vampires wanting to take over Eastern Europe with the power of a near-mythical relic? Great!
Vampires wanting to take over the American frontier with an army of vampires? Yeeh hah!
Vampires wanting make a race of immortal vampire Nazis? Sure!
I mean the execution leaves some to be desired, but that is fine really.
Natassia Malthe is not as good as Kristanna Loken (now there is a sentence you don't get to type a lot) but no one here is winning awards for acting and honestly, Rayne is a video game character.
Like I have said before. This is a slider, don't pretend it is steak.
As far as I can tell. The "Unrated" bits are largely due to blood and violence.
--
Since my kid and I talked about these I figure I might as well have some fun. So here is my Rayne for Baldur's Gate 3.
Right now a dual-wielding Ranger. Yes. Those are katanas. If you are going to cheese, go extra cheesy. I even know a place in the game where I can get her eye replaced with a magical one, just like the first video game (and first movie). I'll do some more with her, give her some levels in Rogue (Assassin) and maybe some undead fighting buffs. Perfect for when I take on the vampires in Act 3!
There are solid connections here. Laura Bailey was the voice for Rayne in the video game and now is better known for her Critical Role participation (Vex, Jester). And Michelle Rodriguez was in the first movie and the D&D movie, playing more or less the same character.
October Horror Movie Challenge 2023
Viewed: 15
First Time Views: 8
2 comments:
I think I watched a few minutes of the first one once. It's hard to believe Ben Kingsley was in the first one but I guess they must have offered some decent money. Or maybe he was bored between serious movies. It is cool the DVDs have the games with them.
Ben Kingsley pops up all the time in a wide variety of movies. Sholck like this, Oscar bait, Marvel movies, Star Trek, and weird indie stuff. He seems to be one of those actors that really enjoys the craft of acting.
Post a Comment