Things have been kinda quiet over here at the Other Side.
Sorry about that.
My day job has hit a busy period and I have been given a promotion. This time the promotion came with the increased pay AND responsibility...not just the increased responsibility. So I have been working an extra ten hours each week.
Lite reading for work
Gaming-wise I am really busy.
I am still running my three independent-but-connected D&D 5 games. My oldest is also running three different D&D 5 games covering 15-16 different players. In fact this week the only day that a game hasn't played in my house was yesterday.
I am also in serious prep-phase of my Gen Con game of D2 Shrine of the Kuo-Toa and D3 Vault of the Drow. It is going to huge and I want to make it as Epic as I can.
I am pleased to announce that that three Other Side Publication books have been added to the Reuniting Families Charity bundle to raise money for RAICES to help to get families reunited that were separated at the border.
Sorry for the lack of posts. I am learning a new language and it is taking up a lot of my time.
Sadly, learning R will have nothing to do with anything I post here or with my games, but it is good for me to stay current in my day job. Plus I am soooooo tired of dealing with SAS and SPSS.
I have been fairly quiet here I know. Not by choice, but I have some projects I want to get done and get out to you all. Today is the tale of woe of one such project.
A few weeks back I had this GREAT idea. No, it really it was. It was a game that I really wanted to play and write. I am going into a lot of detail about here now because the game will not happen now, or at least not in it's current draft.
See I did my research. I have a Ph.D. (two in fact, but I am ABD) so research is something I know well and love. And I did do my research. I looked into economic issues of the time to try to get a good idea of a monetary system. I reread news items that I thought would give me better insight. I also put together a must-read list of fiction and a must watch list of movies that fit the genre.
I even prototyped some characters.
What I *DIDN'T* do was see if this game already existed.
Which, as you can guess, it does.
What really sucks is that this game is also really, really good. They went with a different vibe than I was going for, but what they did is fantastic.
Well. Shit.
So now I have notes, drafts and a cool name. Some friends suggested I go ahead and make it, but I don't want to field questions of "Hey have you seen BLANK?" or "How is this not a copy of BLANK?"
So the ideas will go into ... well, I don't know yet really.
After talking with my kids I think I have some ideas for this stuff, but the focus will have to change. So goodbye economic data. Book lists will need to be revised. I think the movies are fine though.
Posting will be down in November here at the Other Side.
Normally November is a lighter month, but it will be even lighter than normal.
I have about four major projects due to four different publishers now. Nothing I can talk about yet, but it is good to be wanted. When I can talk about them be assured I will!
I will say this
One is about witches (of course)
One is for White Star
One is for D&D 5
and one more I can't talk about at all.
So know that the wheels are still going here and the lights are on. But I just can't come to the door right now.
Rosaleen Norton would have been 100 years old today.
She was an occultist, artist, nude model, bi-sexual, and self-proclaimed witch all in a time when women barely had the same civil rights as men.
I first discovered her art back, like many things with me and witches, in the 70s at my local public library.
I am not sure what book it was. I was convinced that she had done a lot of drugs to get these images onto canvas, but I certainly underestimated her.
Recently I had read a bio about her, not a very long one, and how she seemed to have been born to create the life she really wanted. She had numerous obstacles thrown at her, but none of those kept her from being who she was.
You have to respect that.
Even if you do not know her name it is likely you know her art. She had painted a number of images over the years including one of my favorite pictures of Lilith (below).
She had even been charged with obscenity in Austrailia.
Fohat
One of Rosaleen Norton's most controversial images was that of a demon she called Fohat. Representing male sexual power the demon has a goat's head, a man's upper body and a snake for a phallus. Describing this work, she stated that "The goat is the symbol of energy and creativity: the serpent of elemental force and eternity." Needless to say, it got her into some trouble.
In the writings of Theosophy Fohat is a force of male sexual potency. Norton obviously knew this background. The question for us though is Fohat a unique demon or a species? He is likely an incubus, but given the proper name, I am going with "the Lord of Incubi".
Fohat is the Lord of Incubi. They revere him, not due to his ability in combat, but by the number of warlocks he has at his command. There are others though that do challenge his title, but none that are willing to go to war over it.
Fohat appears as a lare man with a goat's head, a man's upper body and the lower portion of a goat. His phallus is a large snake.
While evil, Fohat is the epitome of a "Lover, not a fighter" and he would rather charm his way out of a situation than fight his way out. His voice acts as if hee had a constant Charm Person spell cast and anyone listening to it must save vs. Charm at a -3 or be unable to physically attack him. Even races immune to charming magic can be affected.
His numerous offspring are all Tieflings of a demonic sort.
Fohat is difficult to classify. He shows all the same abilities of one of the Lilim races, but also appears to be part of the Shedim race of demons. He is old, but none (so far) have postulated that he is an Eodemon.
Pacts with Fohat
Fohat takes on young warlocks willingly. Some even say enthusiastically. While he prefers female warlocks, he will take on the odd male warlock with high charisma. The initiate must summon Fohat into a circle. Typically other warlocks of Fohat will summon him with the initiate warlock placed in the circle. The pact is sealed with an act of sexual intercourse with the demon. Warlocks and Witches may form a Grand Coven dedicated to Fohat and they are expected to partake in a Bacchanal on every new moon.
The pact with Fohat is a demonic pact and has all the features of a demonic pact as described on page 7. Additionally, Fohat's warlocks may impose a -2 penalty to anyone attempting to make a saving throw against their charm spells. Warlocks of the Lord of Incubi may also cast the "Bewitch" spells normally available only to witches.
You may have already heard or read this by now, but artist and friend of the Other Side Mona Dowie lost her fight with cancer this week.
Her husband +William Dowie informed everyone via Facebook that Mona had passed at 9:08pm on September 13.
Sadly the bills for cancer and now the funeral don't go away.
So if you have a few coppers you can spare please head over to her fundraiser and spare what you can. https://www.gofundme.com/Mona-Shaffer-Dowie
I feel honored and privileged to have known her. We talked games and our mutual love for witches and Stevie Nicks. We chatted at length on how she completely got my character Nox. I shared with her notes from my old Buffy game describing her and she drew exactly what I had without even knowing it.
My thoughts are with her family and especially her husband William at this time.
I can't even imagine what he might be going through now.
Last week I took the week off. We were supposed to travel but a variety of circumstances killed that idea, chief among them we thought one of our bunnies, Amy, was pregnant.
Instead, we did a bunch of mini-vacations mostly up to Wisconsin.
I hit up Noble Knight Games and FINALLY re-bought a World of Greyhawk Boxed set. I now have completely restored my original collection of *D&D books.
I also picked up that cool looking "The Witchcraft Reader". Full of classic tales of witches and witchcraft. Yes, that is a naked witch riding a giant bat monster and holding a snake.
We played a lot of Blue Rose and Blue Rose/DragonAge. It is becoming my oldest son's favorite game and he has even run a few more sessions.
We went to The House on the Rock and Steampunk Invasion at the Bristol Renaissance Faire.
The biggest thing we did though was...Nothing. That's right I took a complete mental vacation. No reading. No writing. Just enjoyed not doing anything for the first time in a very, very long time.
Though my wife and I gave Game of Throne another chance and we binged all 6 and half seasons.
As of this morning, I am all caught up with the rest of you! I don't think I'll add much to my games because of this, some things are just best to enjoy as-is rather than what they can offer me elsewhere. Though I would not count out a possible Basic Witch write up for Melisandre.
This is the time of year I start going into blogging overdrive to get posts together for the annual Blogging from A to Z blogfest.
I have participated every year since 2011. It is a lot of work and ultimately enjoyable.
But it is a lot of work.
In addition to posting something A to Z I have been part of a team that helps other bloggers do their A to Z, I visit scores of sites every day to post on others blogs and try to squeeze in a post or two above and beyond normal.
This year I am just not feeling it.
I have a lot of projects that need to get done that need my attention.
I have other work I have been doing that also is making demands on my time.
Plus I am not blind to my traffic numbers. I see I get a bump from outside my normal postings, but the engagement isn't there. I feel like with the A to Z I am ignoring my regular reader in favor of new readers that really don't stay on. I could be wrong about that, but I am basing it on posting behavior and my Google Analytics data.
My plan this year had been Free (or Cheap) RPGs. Knowing what I know about my audiences I wanted to try to get people that are not gamers into playing with a low barrier to entry. I like being an ambassador of gaming, but I also know I can get more people to play if I just sat up shop a couple weekends a year at my FLGS and ran demos.
I don't know.
What do you think?
Are you going to miss me doing the A to Z this year?
I have been motivated to do something more in the face of what looks like insurmountable odds. So yesterday while running I came up with an idea to produce something that you all can use and still give me the chance to do some good.
I originally wrote this for my atheism blog, The Freedom of Nonbelief, but I think it is better suited here.
I usually don't post a lot of personal pictures here, but this one is important to me.
Me, my son Connor as a baby and his big brother Liam at age 4. They are 13 and 16 now.
Doesn't look like I am suffering from depression here at all, but I was.
This photo was taken sometime in February 2004. I have to trust the date on the file because I have no recollection of it happening. I didn't know it then, but I was still about 5-6 months before I started to get well.
Back in 2000 to 2001 I started to hit a downward spiral. I am not really sure what caused it but there were lot of factors that added to it. By the end of 2001 I was in deep. So deep that I barely recall anything that happened between 2001 and 2005. Which is really fucking sad to be honest. My kids were born in 1999 and 2003, this should have been one of the happiest times in my life.
I was fortunate. Really. My wife was there for me every awful moment I put her through. Sleeping all day, up all night. Thankfully I never had suicidal thoughts. I never gave into drinking too much, in fact, I think the whole thing cut my drinking down to nothing. I did get to write. That is plus.
But there were days that just disappeared from me. Hours, even days, lost in some haze that I to this day can't recall.
I used to think that I was immune to this sort of thing. Really. I had a GREAT childhood. Parents that loved and supported me. Great friends. I always had a job. I may not have been rich but I could afford to feed myself and I had a place to sleep at night. I knew the warning signs too. I have degrees in Psychology. I did my Master's work while working a suicide hotline. I did my Ph.D. work in one of the best cities in the country. I really had it made.
Maybe that all made it worse. I felt like I was a sham. I didn't have the right to be so depressed. There were so many others out there that had it worse than me. But that is part of the stigma.
In psychology, we call depression the "Common Cold" of psychological ailments because it is so common. But what I had was more like full blown N1H1 flu. I knew the signs and I was bowled over anyway.
The toll comes in from the damage that happens all around you. I was taking really piss poor care of myself. Despite trying to get out and exercise I still gained weight. My health in general sucked. Then there are the relationships. I basically had two personality traits then; catatonic or angry. Thank goodness my wife and kids are as stubborn as they are. I don't know if I would have stuck with me.
This video by +Wil Wheaton kinda sums up how things were for me too. The first two minutes really captures how the anger was. I met him in 2009 or so. Had I known all of this we could have at least mentioned it to each other. How we both got out of it.
I didn't go see anyone. Maybe I should have. I might have gotten better sooner.
It's weird. I have started, stopped and started this post at least a dozen times. I have had to update my kids' ages a couple of times since starting.
In the process of revising this post, this was posted to my feed. (and yet again more evidence of how many time I have started and restarted this).
It is Sex+ and atheist YouTuber and Vlogger +Laci Green. I like Laci. I think she is great. This video though doesn't make me happy.
It doesn't make me happy because I know all too well what she is saying. I have been there.
And one more (see I told you I started this many times). +JaclynGlenn is another fave of mine and she makes a lot of great points.
Sometimes I feel like it is some kind of monster, waiting to draw me back in. Minus a minor episode in 2007 things have been really good. But yet it is always there, lurking in the shadows.
What do I want to say about this?
I guess to say this is not uncommon. People all over suffer from this.
The things I learned that I really wish I knew back then:
- It won't be forever. I knew that, intellectually, but it was hard to process that then.
- Get help. I get shots for the flu, take Lipitor for all chili-cheese dogs I ate as a kid and getting help for this is no different.
- Get a support net. I was lucky. My wife and kids kept me protected and safe. I never could have made it without them.
I am better now.
But I see the same behaviors I went through in others and I wanted to post this to let them know that they are not alone, they are not unique in their suffering and there is help and others out there.
We have the greatest communication tool ever invented (to date), lets use it to make things better.
