Class Struggles: The Illusionist

It's a logical extension from my talks about wizards over the last two weeks to go right into illusionists. I have always been curious about the illusionist class and it's genesis. For starters it is one of the few classes that really only exists in AD&D first edition. Editions after that make the illusionist a "speciality wizard"; a type of magic-user/wizard/mage. It also didn't exist in OD&D or Basic D&D (with exceptions, that I will get too).

Last week and the week before I killed a lot of photons explaining that "magic-user" was a generic term for any sort of magic using character class. So wizards, necromancers, mages, witches and naturally one would assume illusionists would fall under this umbrella term. It is interesting then that the illusionist is viewed as so different to merit its own class.

My research has turned up the first mention of the Illusionist as coming from the pages of The Strategic Review - Volume 1, Number 4 from Winter 1975. That's pretty early on really. The article, ILLUSIONISTS!: GENERALLY APPEARING AS A NEW CLASS FOR DUNGEONS & DRAGONS was written by Peter Aronson. Though Gygax and Blume were still the editors, so it had their tacit approval, if not explicit. The opening to the article states:

Illusionists are a sub-class of magic-users who, as the name implies, employ illusion and similar powers. Their prime requisite is dual, in that they must have both a good intelligence and a dexterity of not less than 15 as a high degree of manual conjuration is involved when they cast their spells. Although severely limited in the number of magical items they can employ, Illusionists make up for this restriction by the power of their magic.

So in theory then it is harder to become an illusionist, but their magic is stronger.  I am not so convinced this is completely true. Afterall there is no fireball, lightning bolt or wish in their spell list. Sure there is more to magic than that, but a well placed fireball is still good to have.  Looking over the XP tables the Illusionist needs MORE xp than even the magic-user.

Peter Aronson comes back in no less an illustrious issue as The Dragon #1 from June 1976. Here more levels of the illusionist are listed and spells up to 7th level are detailed.  Here some of the more interesting and uniquely illusionist spells are introduced.  Here we also see that illusionists get a +4 to any saves vs. illusion or light based spells.  This is expanded on in The Dragon #12 by Rafael Ovalle. Here the illusionist is also given the chance to recognize any spell cast by another illusionist.  The spell lists have been tweaked a bit as well.

This was the same time frame that EGG was working on his Magnum Opus, AD&D.   Illusionists now appear in the Players Handbook as a subclass of the magic-user. They have their own XP values and spell lists separate from magic-users.  It is also noted that while only humans, elves and half-elves can become magic-users, gnomes can become illusionists.  The saving throw bonus has been dropped, but the XP values are now less than the magic-user.  The illusionist is still limited to 7th level spells, but many of the illusion spells it shares with the magic-user are usually a level lower.  Still, I have a vague memory of the magic-user being a better illusionist than the illusionist itself.  I can't find any tell-tale evidence of this.

The Illusionist and The Witch
At this point I want to point out something.  For the last two weeks I talked about the flexible nature of the magic-user and how, when played as intended, almost precludes the need for a separate witch class.   Then bam! here comes the illusionist to completely shake that idea up. Though it really only confirmed it my mind.   The illusionist was born in the pages of Dragon magazine, as was one of the many incarnations of the witch.  Plus there is this entry which we have all read before.

Yes, I know that the witch was added after the fact by persons unknown, but I was still promised witches.  But imagine for a moment if we had gotten a witch and illusionist class.  It is entirely likely you would not be reading this blog!
In fact, one of my first AD&D characters was a female illusionist named Cara that I styled as a witch-like character.  I pretty much based her on this art from D1-2 Descent into the Depths of the Earth by Bill Willingham.

Post AD&D 1st Ed
After this the Illusionist disappears as it's own thing really. In 2nd Ed it becomes a prime example of a speciality mage. The advantages of course are now the illusionist gets access to a wider variety of spells than before, but still less than the generalist wizard. In many ways this is a full realization of the "magic-user" concept. The same is true for 3rd edition. Personally I rather liked this idea since it fits in with the narrative of my idea of a magic school with different "Schools" of instruction.  Though on the other side of the coin is that this also took away some of the things that made the illusionist a unique class.  Some of that "uniqueness" has been taken over by the Sorcerer.  Yes, they are not the same thing, but both are compared, favorablly or ill, to the wizard.

The Basic Illusionist
No talk of the illusionist class can happen without talking about the Basic Illusionist.

The Basic Illusionist is the brain-child of +Nathan Irving and was first seen during the S&W Appreciation Day Blog Hop. You can get it from RPGNow, http://www.rpgnow.com/product/140543/The-Basic-Illusionist?affiliate_id=10748 or from his blog,  http://secretsoftheshadowend.blogspot.com/. In both cases it is 100% free.

Before I delve into the book itself. Lets take a moment to look at this cover.
Seriously. That is a cool ass cover. I am not sure what made Nathan Irving choose this piece ("Beauty and the Beast" by Edmund Dulac) but I love it.  The title works in seemlessly, like they were meant for each other.  The woman in foreground is no longer the "beauty" but she is now an Illusionist.

The book is overtly for Swords & Wizardry, but there isn't anything here keeping you from using any Original of Basic inspired system.  I know it works out well in Labyrinth Lord and Basic D&D and it really should work well in ACKS, Spellcraft & Swordplay or any other system.  Astonishing Swordsmen & Sorcerers of Hyperborea might be a trick, but they have an Illusionist class already (more on that later).

Getting into the book now we have 34 pages (with cover) on the Illusionist class. The book starts off with a helpful FAQ.  Personally I think Nathan should also put that FAQ on his blog as a page so every knows why they should get this.  The Illusionist class itself is in S&W format, but the only thing keeping you from using this in any other Basic or Advanced Era game is a table of Saving Throws.  Copy over what ever the Wizard or Magic-user is using in your game of choice and give them bonus to saves when it comes to illusions. I like the original -4 (or +4) but as much as -1/+1 would be fine too.

The Illusionist gets a power or feature every odd level, but nothing that is game breaking when compared to the wizard.  The Illusionist trades flexibility for focus in their magical arsenal. There is even an Illusionist variant class called the Mountebank.  Which is more of a con-artist.  Not sure how it compares to other classes of the same name.

One of the best features of the book is a guideline on illusionist magic and how to play with illusions.  Great even if you never play the class.

What follows next is over 150 Illusionist spells.  Many we have seen before and come from the SRD.  That is not a bad thing. Having all these spells in one place and edited to work with the class is a major undertaking.  I for one am glad to see them here.  Spells are alphabetical instead of sorted by level.
A list of conditions ported over from the SRD is also included. I like that personally.  We all love how the older games and the clones play, but in our zeal we tend to forget that 3.x and later games did in fact have some good innovations and ideas; this is one of them.
We end with a couple of monsters and a two page OGL statement.
Really, this is a fantastic piece of work and really should be the "go to" document if you ever want to play an illusionist.

Other Clones
The design of the Illusionist class is such that adding it to any game should really be a breeze.  Adventurers enter a new land and discover a new brand of wizard.  Compared to other custom wizards out there the illusionist is more powerful than his counterpart in 1st Ed. AD&D.

ACKS Player's Companion
The Gnomish Trickster has a number of good spells that work well for the Illusionist.  All the arcane spells tagged as (ill) for illusion would work nicely as well.  I will go out on a limb here and say the gnomish trickster is basically the "Basic" interpretation of the Gnome Illusionist.

Adventures Dark and Deep
+Joseph Bloch's own magnum opus and dedication to a game that never was is also a good place to look for any ideas on class evolution.  I have to admit I am curious what he uncovered about the illusionist in his own research.  Why was the class included and so on. His game has both an illusionist and a mountebank classes.  Not to mention plenty of illuison spells.  This book also retains the link between gnomes and illusionists, in this case the Deep Gnome.  This illusionist feels very much like the 1st Ed or even the OSRIC Illusionist.

Astonishing Swordsmen & Sorcerers of Hyperborea
+Jeff Talanian's fantastic Astonishing Swordsmen & Sorcerers of Hyperborea also has an Illusionist class. Like all the classes in the book it is limited to 12th level.  I had a quick glance over the spell lists and there wasn't anything that jumped out at me; the spells are drawn from similar sources.  There is is information though that owners of either could use. Obviously the Basic Illusionist covers many more spells but more importantly it has the guidelines for covering how illusions in the game work.

The Companion Expansion
This is another "Companion" style book for Basic-era D&D and clones and is something of a forgotten treasure.  It also has an Illusionist Class that is roughly equal with the Basic Illusionist, but the real feature of this book is the expanded spell list.  If you are looking to extend your illusionist a bit more with more spells then this is a good way to do it.

Labyrinth Lord Advanced Edition Companion
Given it's aim to emulate AD&D via the Basic D&D-like rules it is no surprise then this illusionist cleaves very close to the source material. This is the illusionist of old.

Magical Theorems & Dark Pacts
+Dyson Logos' Magical Theorems & Dark Pacts is an excellent book for playing all sorts of wizard types.  That is, oddly enough, except Illusionists.  This however is not issue; The Illusionist fits in quite nicely here.  The Enchanter from MT&DP would have some spells that might be good for the Illusionist as well.

Theorems & Thaumaturgy
Another great free product. Theorems & Thaumaturgy comes to us from +Gavin Norman and introduced his Vivmancer class.  Vivimancers and Illusionists are about as different as one can get really.  But Theorems & Thaumaturgy does have some things that the Illusionist can use.  For starters there some more Illusionist spells in T&T that any Illusionist could use.  Both this book and the Basic Illusionist make the assumption that Illusionists should have access to 8th and 9th level spells.  If you are going to play an Illusionist then it is worth your time and effort to get a copy of Theorem & Thaumaturgy.

The Witch
Witches and Illusionists share the ability to cast various figments and charms/mind affecting spells.  I would say that in any game that has both classes that Illusionists should be limited to charm spells up to 5th level and witches any type of figments up to 5th level.  Illusionists then get all (or most) of the Illusion spells and witches get all the curses.

There is only two things I really want.
To combine all of this into one place and to have a bound book version.  I think it would be excellent.

Déjà vu Blogfest 2015

I am joining the Déjà vu blogfest for 2015.

http://www.dlhammons.com/2015/12/the-deja-vu-blogfest-2015.html

Now I just need to find something to talk about from this year.
Likely I'll post this on Sunday Feb 20.

Jury Duty, Again

I have jury duty again today.

Though to be fair the last time was way back in 2009.  Hopefully it will be a one day deal.

Featured Post Feature

Blogger just added a "Featured Post" feature.
You can see it to the right just under the Social Media icons.

So each week I try to feature something new.  Maybe from the week in question or something else.

It will be interesting to see how it works.

Slavers Defeated!

Last night the Order of the Platinum Dragon crushed the gnolls working in Slave Pits of the Undercity and defeated the slavers!  The slaves were freed, including some orcs which vowed to help the PCs when and if they could.  Detailed maps were discovered and the group is off to stop an even larger threat.

We finished module A1 Slave Pits of the Undercity last night.  I ran it under 5th Edition and made a lot of tweaks along the way.  While I felt the players had an easy of a time when going through Castle Amber, I made som changes in how monsters were dealt with and felt that last's night session was much more balanced.  Plus a lot of great things went on.
I used gnolls instead of orcs.  In truth I am tired of orcs and wanted something new.  So I used a lot of material from +James Mishler's Hercynian Grimoire #1.  I included his Gnoles, werehyenas, and even a gnoll assassin and a gnoll witch. It made for a lot of fun.
Since I am also tying in more to the Out of Abyss adventures I included some gnoll demonic adepts which was great fun.  I took the old adage that the campaign is written by the paranoia of the players my oldest son decided that these demonic-gnolls must mean that ultimately demons are in control of the slavers.  Sure. Let's go with that!

To really have some fun since there were ghouls in this adventure I added a Thoul enforcer.  Now back in the day I always thought thouls were part ghoul, part troll and part gnoll, forgeting all about hobgoblin.  So I decided I would honor my 35+ year-old mistake and have a thoul in my game that was decidedly gnoll in heritage.  If you never played Basic/Expert D&D then you might not know the thoul.  Well here is the man himself, Perdustin over at Thoul's Paradise to educate us on what is a thoul.  Mine was a little different than the one in the BECM(I) Rules Cyclopedia.
Thankfully I found this great tool that helps create a D&D5 style monster stat block.
http://thegeniusinc.com/dd-monster-maker-download/

I can build monsters all day!

The characters are on their way to the Slaver's Stockade (A2) but along the way they are going hit our "Christmas Special" and have to deal with Krampus!  Hey since I have the software open...
Here is Krampus.

Can't wait to tell you all about it!

Zatannurday: Team Ups

We have the new Dawn of Justice movie coming out,  the Legends of Tomorow TV series and Suicide Squad movie. It is shaping up to be a good 2016 for DC fans.

So in celebrations of these notable team-ups here is Zee teaming up with some other heroes.



An unlikely duo by Clopette-Jolly on DeviantArt


Justice League Cosplay - 2 by Millster-Ink on DeviantArt


Black Canary and Zatanna by ShawnAtkinson on DeviantArt


Player Select: Scarlet Witch VS Zatanna by Garoooooh on DeviantArt


Zatanna and Hawkgirl by Lily-pily on DeviantArt


Nightwing and Zatanna by Pryce14 on DeviantArt


We're here to save you! (Supergirl and Zatanna) by Blue-colibri on DeviantArt


DC and Marvel Friend in cosplay by Ophi89 on DeviantArt


artemis and zatanna (3 by metalwolf77777 on DeviantArt


Zatanna vs Raven by AlexiaDeath10 on DeviantArt


Abunai 2015 - Zatanna and John Constantine 2 by RedMoon-Tiger on DeviantArt


Witches, Zatanna and Raven by BlueWolfWazzu on DeviantArt


Kaboom! by ShutterSpade on DeviantArt


DC girls commission by jefterleite on DeviantArt


Zatanna and Batman by Sorathepanda on DeviantArt


Sentinels of Magic by Batced on DeviantArt

Friday Night Videos: Celebrating 3000 posts

Well I did not have much time today to get videos together or a theme.  So I figure why not take a moment and celebrate the fact I have made 3000 posts.

That's a lot of text really.

So let's celebrate this milestone with some videos about hit the mark, getting there or 3000 in general.

Let's start with the best known, if only, 3000 in the music business.  That would be Andre 3000 of Outkast.  Here is "Hey Yeah" with a multitude of 3000s from their epic two album release The Love Below.




Can you imagine me training for this?  Running up steps, punching keyboards hanging from the ceiling?  Tangling with other games and blogs? No. Ok maybe not.  But let's be honest "Eye of The Tiger" from Survivor is an awesome fight song.




All month, I have counting down to this.  You know what that means, right?




In truth not only can I not complain, but I get to do something I enjoy AND others seem to enjoy it too. So as long people want to keep reading what I have to say I'll try to keep saying it.  Like Joe Walsh says, "Life's Been Good to Me (So Far)".

Kickstart Your Weekend: Calidar "Beyond the Skies"

+Bruce Heard is back with another Kickstarter for his wildly successful Calidar campaign system.

Calidar "Beyond the Skies"

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ambreville/calidar-beyond-the-skies

This looks every bit as fun as the first Calidar book (reviewed here).
This book "feels" more like a campaign guide too, along the lines of the Forgotten Realms books with gods and things for mortals to do. by contrast the first Calidar book was more Gazetteer like.

The art looks fantastic, but don't take my word for it, pop on over and see.

I also appreciate the handy graphic too to know what it is I am getting for the money I spend.

Now to figure what level to pledge at!

Post 3000!

A long time ago I hit 1000 posts.
Then I hit 2000.

Today, a little more than two years later I am hitting 3000 posts!

Not sure how to celebrate such an achievement.

3000, more so than 2000, make me think of the future.  Futurama, Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and even my own Greyhawk 3000/Mystara 3001 game using White Star and Calidar.

I also have to admit I am very excited for Retrostar.
It's not old school, per se, but does capture the feel of 70s and early 80s sci-fi.

Coming up on my year-end reviews and looking ahead features.

What would YOU like to see for my next 1000 posts?

Class Struggles: The Wizard, Part 2 The Wizard Class

Last week we discussed the Magic-User and his cousin the Wizard.  One thing seems certain, the Magic-User is a bit overpriced in terms of XP.  Also, and I am not the only one as we will see, the wizard lacks some powers he really should have.

One of the things I liked (back then) when 2nd Edition came out was that the Magic-User was now properly called a Wizard.  Again, the nuance of magic-user was lost on me but obviously it was also lost on the design team.
The wizard, as he for evermore will be known, is really not that different from the magic-user mechanically speaking.  Some spells are rearranged but that is about it.  The true difference comes when you choose a speciality school or apply a kit, like the many found in The Complete Wizard's Handbook.  Here the wizard gets a few more spells at starting level from their speciality school and the kit can provide them with some powers.   Though the cantrips as 0-level spells that the Unearthed Arcan gave us are now gone.

Yesterday I reviewed The Principalities of Glantri book and it's school of magic. What stood out for me was things that your wizards can now do if they go to a premier school like Hogwarts The Great School of Magic.  The Seven Crafts provide a bit of extra kick for magic-user characters.  Personally I think they could use something at 1st level as well.

Since I covered the basic (and really Basic) Magic-User last week, I want to jump into some of the clones and near clones now.

Spellcraft & Swordplay is a near clone that models Original D&D and it's Chainmail roots much closer than Swords & Wizardry does.  It does take some liberties though.   One is the Wizard and the wizard class elite paths, Warlocks and Necromancers.  In S&S wizards can Read Magic at 1st level.  We are also given more detail on how to create magic items.  An Elite Path like the Necromancer or Warlock also get other powers.

Fantastic Heroes & Witchery also has a wizard class, as well as a wise man and a warlock.  Additionally, it also has 666 spells split up into gray, white and black magic.  The wizard here does not differ much from the standard magic-user, but the number of spells included is not insignificant.

Adventurer Conqueror King System gives us a similar looking Wizard, the advantage here are the skills/proficiencies that all classes get.  Going back to last week this is similar to the skill checks I give wizards when identifying magic.

Magical Theorems & Dark Pacts also has a wizard class. Many in fact.  The wizard is still a Magic-User clone, but there are plenty of other wizard types in this book that the case for experimentation is made here.

Astonishing Swordsmen & Sorcerers of Hyperborea. Ah now this is what I was looking for.  Each of the books so far has done a little here and little there, but the Magician in AS&SH is waht I have really been looking for.  Right away he gets a familiar, the ability to read magic and scribe a scroll. At 7th level he learns som alchemy.  The subclasses, Illusionist, Necromancer, Pyromancer and Witch all get similar powers.

Moving out from clone-land and into old-school land proper there is The Arcanum.  I keep coming back to this book because it keeps on delivering.  There are a lot of magic-user like classes, Alchemist, Astrologer, Charlatan (more of a thief), Enchanter, Mage, Magician, Necromancer, Savant, Sorcerer, Thaumaturge, and Witch.   There is, of course, a Wizard as well.  What they all have in common and share with some other books is the ability to read magic at first level.
These classes all also get new powers at every odd level.  Some are just redefining things the wizard could always do; write scrolls, make potions and magic items.  This just defines them a little better.  Interestingly this book also allows the wizard to choose a weapon.  The book also has plenty of spells to choose from.

It should be noted that these problems are solved by 3rd Edition and beyond.  Both the shared XP values across all classes and more features for the Wizards has made all the above points moot really.

My recommendations for the wizard are:

• Cantrips
• Read Magic/Identify magic as a skill at 1st level.  Can be a simple Int check.  A bonus equal to level with a penalty equal to spell level.
• Find Familiar as a ritual, but not a spell.
• Signature Spells. A spell that can be cast twice or three times per day with one memorization.
• Some powers at 5th, 10th, 15th and 20th level.  Signature Spell can be one of these.

I would group powers along something like Arcane Traditions like I do for the Witch and like D&D5 does, save I would call them something else.  Schools maybe.  I already use "Philosophies" in Ghosts of Albion so I would not want to use that here.  Schools are good since I can go beyond "enchantment" or "necromancy" and into things like "Miskatonic Grad" or "Apprenticed under Mordenkainen", that sort of thing.

I would run this wizard through the various class creation kits I mentioned last week, but especially the one out of the ACKS Player's Companion to check the numbers.  Might be worth looking into deeper.

Why Are my Magic-Users not like Mages?
Spend any time in any other game but D&D, especially one that uses a lot of magic, and somethings just don't make sense.  Except as that special branch of logic known as D&D logic.  Being first D&D gets away with a lot. Invariably someone will ask though why can't D&D magic be more like the magic in World of Darkness, namely Mage.

The difference, of course, is one of scope. While the D&D wizard might become a "master of reality" the Awakened of Mage are of a different sort. The assumptions of the worlds are too different.   Maybe a WoD style Mage could be something the D&D Wizard could aspire to be, I still would not take a Mage with me into a dungeon or try to identify a scroll or potentially magic sword.
So I don't try to make my Wizards into Mages.  I keep the Vancian magic intact.  If I want to play a Mage, I will pick up Mage.   But really, playing both games will give you a better understanding of things your wizard/mage can do in either game.

Hopefully your wizards are more like this:




Than this:



Though that Keep at 3:30 looks familiar.

Review: GAZ3 The Principalities of Glantri

Still spending a lot of time thinking about witches, wizards, schools of magic and witch queens.  So naturally my thoughts turn to +Bruce Heard's masterpiece, GAZ3 The Principalities of Glantri.
I have mentioned Glantri here a few times. It was the homeland for my characters back in my D&D/AD&D days.  I built up the country from the small bits of information from D&D Expert Set, Isle of Dread and Castle Amber.  It was not till much later I discovered the Gazetteer series and picked up Glantri that I discovered how really interesting and fun the place was.

GAZ3 The Principalities of Glantri
The pdf is 102 pages (the original book was 96 pages, a detached cover and large map of the country and Glantri City).  The PDF is a good quality scan and retains all the information found in the print book.   The cover art was done by the fantastic Clyde Caldwell.  While this book is a D&D "Basic" book, there is so much here of use that it can really be used with any D&D system.  This book really set the stage for all the other Gazetteers to follow.
The first part, Welcome to Glantri, gives a very brief overview of what the country is and what this book sets out to do.
Up next is the History of Glantri. I spent hours and hours reading this over and over.   I won't go into great detail, but linking Glantri to ancient Blackmoor was wonderful in my mind. Mostly because I loved the link but also I had done something similar for my own games.  What follows next is a time line from 3000 BC, The Rain of Fire* (Before Crowning of the first Emperor of Thyatis)  to 1000 AC (today) and even on to 1200 AC.  *I always wondered if the Rain of Fire that destroyed Blackmoor was related or even just the same spell that destroyed the Suel in the Greyhawk world.
Geography of Glantri is next.  Like much of Mystara, Glantri is a mix of all sorts of races and people, but Glantri also has it's fair share of "monsters" those will be detailed later.  Glantri's climate is also touched upon, making it one of the colder lands.
The is followed by The Glantrian Economy. I really enjoyed this section because it really breathes life into the people that live here.  Each of the Principalities is detailed here for the first time.  A quick read and one immediately recognizes analogues to Scotland, Italy, France, and even Transylvania. Glantri is very cosmopolitan.  We move into the Grand Army of Glantri and Politics and Rivalries of Glantri.  Glantri is the place to play out political intrigue where everyone is mage of some sort or has one on retainer.  Like the Economy section, this section breathes more life into the people of the land, in this case all the great houses.   I will admit once again that the interior art by Stephan Fabian links this to Ravenloft in my mind.  Not only are there humans here, but vampires, werewolves and liches ruling.  We will get to witches in a bit.
Guilds and Brotherhoods are also one of the more important features of this book and life in Glantri.  There are so many here that characters could each belong to many and none overlap.  Some are complimentary to each other and others at cross purposes.  Really good fodder for role-playing.
Glantri City by Night details what happens to the 39,000+ residents when the sun goes down. The book is like a what we now call Modern Supernatural.  So all sorts of "monsters" come out and mingle with everyday people.  It says "by Night" but really this an overview of the city itself and all it's sections.  It reminds me of a travel guide to London I once read, so I am rather fond of this section.
Living in Glantri City details life in the city including the laws, who is in charge, magic use and various holy/high days. There is no religion in Glantri, but there is a state philosophy. Of course it is tied in with magic.
The Great School of Magic.  Outside of Hogwarts or Professor Xavier's school has a school been so rich detailed. Though there is enough here to make me want more, a lot more.  This is followed by Creating Spells and Magical Items and The Secret of the Radiance. The source of Glantri's magical power.
Nest we get into The Seven Secret Crafts of Glantri.   If you only buy this book for this section then you will be well rewarded.  Think of these as schools or even colleges of magic. Each one ads something special to the Magic-User class, almost like a Prestige Class or Paragon class feature.  They include, Alchemy, Dragon magic, Elemental magic, Illusion, Necromancy, Rune magic, and of course, Witchcraft.
We wrap up with Adventures in Glantri.

The Gazetteer series were works of art and none more so than the Glantri book.

I mentioned before that this book would work fine with other versions of D&D.  Looking deeper into the Seven Secret Crafts of Glantri, one could EASILY replace the Arcane Tradition feature of the 5th Edition Wizard and replace those powers with the craft powers.  The 5e wizard gets 4 Arcane tradition powers/features and the Basic craft wizards get 5. They work out to about the same levels too.

So if you have not picked this up, do so. I highly recommend it.

I also recommend Bruce Heard's latest Calidar kickstarter Beyond the Skies.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ambreville/calidar-beyond-the-skies

Calidar is a load of fun and this promises to be great.

DCC and 0-Level Characters

Busy day today.  I have Eighteen research design videos to edit.

But I thought I would throw out something I am playing with for my next campaign, either my "Second Campaign" or my War of the Witch Queens one.

I want to use the funnel idea from Dungeon Crawl Classics to figure out which characters will go through the adventures.  I would run them through an 0-level adventure and then allow them to choose their classes.

Could be a lot of fun.

What are your experiences with this?

Zatannurday: Justice League Movie

In case you have been living in a bunker in Mojave, here is the trailer for the newest movie in the DC Cinematic Universe.

I think it looks great.  First up the sneak peek.



I am going to say....dream sequence or Bruce worrying about a future where Superman has gone rogue, but not something that actually happens.

Now the trailer.  There is more than just a little bit of fan service in this.


So I am going to call it. Ben Affleck is going to rock as Batman.  He already seems to have Bruce Wayne down and his voice is not Christian Bale's gargling with battery acid and gravel voice.

But seriously.  Let's take a moment and marvel how FREAKING AWESOME Gal Gadot is looking as Wonder Woman.   I am even enjoying Jesse Eisenberg as Lex.  I LOVE Bruce's reaction when he says "Lex"...he has nothing but contempt for him.

And....Doomsday.

Yeah.

Is it 2016 yet?

Friday Night Videos: Conceptual Continuity

Welcome to the Friday Night Videos salute to Frank Zappa.

Earlier today I posted some people and things from Frank Zappa's Conceptual Continuity.

Here are the songs and videos that inspired them.
Note: Not all of these are part of Zappa's actual Conceptual Continuity, but they are good for this.

My python boot's too tight.  "Stinkfoot" appears on the 1974 FZ album Apostrophe ('), which is now usually sold as a combo CD with Over-Nite Sensation.   Stinkfoot is very much part of the Conceptual Continuity. I also think it might have been the first Zappa song I ever heard.  I am sure that my brother Mike was the one that introduced me to it.




One the same album St. Alphonzo and Father O'Blivion can be heard on "St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast" and "Father O'Blivion" respectively.    Funny thing, the next song on that side "Cosmik Debris" was one of "inspirations" for the Aquarian Tradition of Witchcraft.






Speaking of the Aquarians.  Over-Nite Sensation from 1973 introduced us to The Short Forest in "Camarillo Brillo" a tale of a magic mama that could throw a mean tarot.    I decided that the woman in Camarillo Brillo was the same as the Witch of The Short Forrest and likely Dinah-Moe Humm from the same album.  Camarillo Brillo, by the way is not the witch's name, it describes her hair.




The idea of her sister drowning comes from Zappa's 1982 album Ship Arriving Too Late to Save a Drowning Witch.  This is the album that gave the world "Valley Girl".




"Goblin Girl", is not really a goblin, but gobbling or gobbl'en.  What she is gobbling...well you listen and decide.  But it is one of the best songs on the completely fantastic You Are What You Is from 1981.  For me she looks like Gren Razortooth from YAFGC.




Her suicidal behavior comes from the same album in the form of "Suicide Chump" and "Jumbo Go Away".






Going all the way back to 1968 we have the classic Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention album We're Only In It For The Money.  One of my favorite songs on this album  is "Absolutely Free" which teaches us that "discorporate means to leave your body."




We go back to Over-Nite Sensation and end with Zomby Woof, which should be self-explanatory.

Conceptual Continuity: The World that Frank Zappa Built

Today is sad day. 22 years ago one of the greatest performers in music died.  Frank Zappa.
ETA: We also just learned that form leader singer of Stone Temple Pilots, Scott Weiland has also died today.

I love Zappa's music after being introduced to it by both a friend and my older brother Mike.  Zappa was a genius and I could spend the next dozen posts talking about him, his music and his contributions.  But instead in a move that might amuse Frank himself I am going for the cheap (but well thought out) gag.

Here are some Zappa inspired items, people, places and things for your game.

Oh I can't explain Conceptual Continuity. It is something that has to be experienced.

Barking Pumpkin
This looks like a normal jack-o-lantern, but once lit it acts an alarm ward. Anyone approaching withing 10' of this pumpkin will cause it to starting barking like a large dog.   Only the command "Sit, Fido, sit." followed by "good dog" will stop it from barking.

Python Boot (magic item)
These boots look like they are made of a skin of a large python.  They give the wearer a +2 on any roll that might involve Charisma (though not magical rolls).  It is assumed that anyone wearing such a boot must be interesting to talk to.

Python Boot, Stinkfoot (cursed)
This cursed version of the Python Boot gives the same powers as a regular python boot.  Though the wearer will not be able to remove them.  Once they try the boot will begin to emit an order like a Stinking Cloud spell.  All Charisma based rolls are now at a -4.

St. Alphonzo (and his Pancake Breakfast)
Saint Alphonzo was one a kindly friar that believed that breakfast was the most important meal of the day.   Special pancakes blessed by the saint keep adventures full and warm till nightfall when consumed in the morning.
St. Alphonzo's is currently run by portly cleric by name of Father O'Blivion, who may or may not be plagued by leprechauns.

Camarillo Brillo by farlo

The Witch of The Short Forest
13th level Witch, Aquarian Tradition, Female (Neutral)

Strength: 10
Dexterity: 14
Constitution: 12
Intelligence: 13
Wisdom: 10
Charisma: 18

Saves
Death Ray or Poison:  9
Magic wand or devices: 10
Paralysis, Polymorph or Turn to Stone: 9
Dragon Breath: 12
Rods, Staffs and Spells: 11

Hit Points: 41
Alignment: Neutral
AC: 5 (Ponch [equal to Leather Armor], Amulet of Protection +2 )

Occult Powers
Familiar:  Snake
Herb use
Lesser: Astromancy
Minor: Moon Blessing

Spells
Cantrips: Chill, Daze, Detect Curse, Object Reading, Open, Sound
First: Cause Fear, Charm Person, Chill Touch, Sickly
Second: Agony, Evil Eye, Levitate, Rose Garden
Third: Bestow Curse, Bewitch III, Dispel Magic
Fourth: Animal Growth, Emotion, Withering Touch
Fifth: Baleful Polymorph, Bull of Heaven
Sixth: Eye Bite, True Seeing
Seventh: Wave of Mutilation

The witch of The Short Forest is notable for many reasons. First are her looks. Her hair is bright red and curled. Her skin is gray-green and all she seems to wear is an old poncho and an amulet.  She is also sometimes seen with her snake.  She will attempt to read your fortune with a deck of old tarot cards.  Or she will try to seduce any male, particularly adventurers but especially Bards (she loves the guys in the band).  If asked she will play a pair of castanets.
She lives in a small two story hut in the valley in the middle of the Short Forest. She will tell you she was born there and that makes her a valley girl.
She had a sister that drowned and doesn't want to talk about it. She will mention many times that she doesn't want to talk about it. (Ship Arriving Too Late to Save a Drowning Witch).

She created the Barking Pumpkin and has a many of them outside her home.  She also has a cat (not a familiar) that speaks fluent Chinese (a language she does not know).

The witch's real name is Dinah, but she never answers to that.

Goblin Girl
Armor Class: 14 (5)
Hit Dice: 1 (6 hp)
No. of Attacks: 1 weapon (dagger)
Damage: 1d6
Movement: 20' Unarmored 30'
No. Appearing: 1
Save As: Fighter: 1
Morale: 8
Treasure Type: R
XP: 12

Goblin Girl is a short, kind of pretty little goblin lass. She isn't evil, per se, but she does tend to get into a lot of mischief.  She is very fond of ale, and for a sip she will help out adventurers.  She is also overly amorous and will adopt a "boyfriend" in the party very early.  She will get upset and even suicidal if affection is not returned.  She won't actually kill herself, but she loves the attention.
She wears a green dress and a black witch hat.  She isn't really a witch, she just likes the hat.  It also covers up her head, which is flat on top.

She is friends with the Witch but has been kicked out of St. Alphonzo's many times for stealing margarine.  She has a boyfriend that is a hobgoblin, but she will claim they "are not serious".

Discorporate (Absolutely Free) (spell)
Level: Witch 5, Wizard 5
Duration: 1 hour + 10 mins per level
Range: Touch

By means of this spell the witch can leave her body and project herself anywhere on the current plane she is inhabiting.  She can not affect objects or people unless they are also astral, ethereal or in spirit form.  She can pass through walls and travel great distances, but she must return to her own body before the duration ends or be lost.
The witchcan bring the astral forms of five other willing creatures, provided all subjects are linked in a circle at the time of the casting. These fellow travelers are dependent upon the caster and must accompany her at all times. If something happens to the caster during the journey, her companions are stranded.
Like the Astral Spell, a physical body is left behind attached by a silver cord.
Material Component: A bit of velvet.

Zomby Woof
Armor Class: 15 (4)
Hit Dice: 4+1 (20 hp)
No. of Attacks: 1 bite
Damage: 2d6
Movement: 20'
No. Appearing: 1d6
Save As: Fighter: 4
Morale: 12
Treasure Type: None
XP: 270

This is a large werewolf zombie stuck in mid-transformation. It is very ungainly and moves slow. It's right foot is larger than the left one and only one paw has claws.
It is a mindless monster that attacks anything in The Short Forest.
A Zomby Woof is turned as a ghoul.

DIY D&D

One of the great things about the whole self-publish, self-produce, osr movements is the ability to  not only have games we loved in no forms, or books we never had (B/X Companion and Adventures Dark and Deep) but it has allowed us unprecedented access to all sorts of material both new and old.

My fondness for PDFs is pretty well known.  But I love books, first and foremost. Hardcovers especially.  Thankfully I grew up in a town that had a book bindery so I managed to get this done:

It's not great, but it is a hard cover of the old Realms of Horror "super module" of the S series.
The nice thing is it has lasted me nearly 30 years.  So I guess I should not complain.

Today we have Lulu.com and DriveThruRPG/PRGNow (and I assume others) for our PDF or physical book needs.  We just have to provide the digital files.

Since I already was providing the files for the print copies of The Witch and Eldritch Witchery, I thought I would make my own hardcovers as well.

I like the hardcover a lot.  I generally like the hardcover Witch better than the softcover one, but prefer the softcover Eldritch Witchery to the hardcover.

Since I was at I thought why not round out the whole collection.

I am not selling these.  You can still find my old netbooks online somewhere. But these were for my own collections.

You might see where I am going here.

So what am I supposed to do when I have this:

But my Rules Cyclopedia looks like this:

Sad. I know.

Well. I love the RC, but cover never really struck me as being "D&D" enough.  But you know what is D&D enough? Uriah Heep's "Demons & Wizards".  So some scanning. Some work late night when I couldn't sleep and I have this:

I will freely admit I am unsure of the legality of this.  I mean I will never sell it (I have my name in it now anyway).  It looks like if I own the PDF I can print it for my own use. Of course I don't own that cover art.  This would be a "table copy".
That aside I think it looks pretty sweet.

It has been a nice little challenge to put together versions of book I have physical copies and pdfs into something new.

My favorites are this combined Basic and Expert hardcover and a combined World of Greyhawk one.

Again, just my own private use at the game table.  But I think they are pretty nice.

I have done something similar to some print outs I made of the Basic and Expert PDFs, which can see here: I Cut up My B/X books!   I think I am going to have to print out the B/X Companion as well and stuff it into this binder.

Now we just need Wizards of the Coast to start giving us more POD options for classic D&D books.

Class Struggles: The Wizard, Part 1 Customizing Options

Posting about the Dresden Files yesterday and talking about psychics, witches and other classes has got me thinking about Wizards and Magic Users today. In truth you can't read, write and think about witches as much as do and not have wizards come up every so often.

In many fantasy genres wizards and witches are very nearly the same thing (and let's not get into what is a warlock today). While I can see the subtle differences as huge gaps I do appreciate that this might really just be my own biases.

When I first began to play D&D (Holmes and then Moldvay/Cook/Marsh B/X) I saw the "Magic-User" class. I always wondered about that. Why was it called "Magic User" and not "Magician" or "Wizard"? I will be honest and say it was not till years later that I fully appreciated what Gary was doing with the "Magic User". It really was meant to be ANY type of magic user. While I can really see the utility of this sort of class it still doesn't give me the customization that I really wanted in a magic-user/wizard class. For starters the biggest and best means of customization for any magic using class is the spell list. Build a magic user, take a bunch of necromantic spells and bingo you have a necromancer, take illusions and you have an illusionist. This is certainly implicit in the rules, if not explicit in some older Dragon magazine articles.

During the work on my witch class I began creating a lot of custom classes. These include some I have mentioned before: The Necromancer/Mara, the Sun Priest, and the Healer. These all kind of rotate around an axis related to the cleric. While working on them I really could not help but notice what powers and spells I was giving them vs. what the magic-user already had. Also I could not help but recognize the disparity in XP per level. It takes a lot to be a magic-user. The argument has always been that it pays off in then end, if you survive.
This disparity was also noticed by others.

Dragon Magazine #109 from May 1986 gave us Paul Montgomery Crabaugh's "Customized Classes" article for the D&D (not AD&D) game. The idea was that the D&D game supported this sort of flexibility. I used this for the first set of XP values per level for my witch, but altered them to something I liked better for the publication of The Witch. Others have picked up on this article as well.

The Dragon article goes into a lot of great detail and my hat is off to Paul Crabaugh for going through all this effort. He made it really easy to add everything to a spreadsheet and auto calculate XP values.
His analysis of the magic-user is quite telling.

Magic User XP per level, per Dragon Magazine #109

Current Level	XP Points needed	Next Level
1	1,840	2
2	3,680	3
3	7,360	4
4	14,720	5
5	29,440	6
6	58,880	7
7	115,000	8
8	230,000	9
9	345,000	10
10	485,000	11
11	606,250	12
12	727,500	13
13	848,750	14
14+	+121,250	per level

Magic-users, when analyzed come up really short.

Erin Smale over at Breeyark.org took the original Dragon values and worked out a spreadsheet of his own in Building the Perfect Class. His numbers track a lot better than Crabaugh's do, but the magic-user still comes up very short. He provides both a PDF and an Excel file to help in building. My biggest peeve though he no where acknowledges the work done by Crabaugh in this even though there are distinct parallels. He does address this though in his update, Building a More Perfect Class.

A while back Perdustin over at Thoul's Paradise posted a reflection on the Crabaugh article and got me thinking about the custom classes I had made then. Later he posted a little on his analysis of the classes with his tweaks. Here are his posts:
Customized Classes (part I) and
Customized Classes (part II)

He challenged me to look at my witch class as well.

In this case as the previous ones, the Magic-User comes up a little short.

Thoul's Paradise analysis

For me the solution is obvious since it also addresses the issue I have with magic-users in classic D&D games. It's not that their XP is too high, it's that there is so little for them to do in the beginning.

Think about every wizard stereotype; an old man, with white hair, beard, pointy hat and robes. Just page through any pre-1985 D&D book and see if you can find something different. Ok. Now what can these old guys do? Cast magic missile once per day. Honestly that doesn't make much sense to me. If these guys have been training at wizard school since they were young they should have learned more magic by now. Hell, Hermione knew more magic on the train to Hogwarts before school ever started than what your average 1st level magic-user knows.

I know classic D&D is about "resource management" and that struggle upwards. I am not suggesting that we play O/B/AD&D magic-users like D&D4 wizards (but I am going to talk about them next week). I do think the wizard needs a little more punch.

Using the same rules in my Witch book I give Wizards (a sub-class or type of Magic User) the ability to cast cantrips (up to 6 at 1st level, 3 + Int mod), the ability to cast Read Magic once per day, that ability to identify magic items (only that they are magic, not what they do). They may also cast a Find Familiar spell. Remember, in 3rd Edition D&D wizards got a familiar for free at 1st level and no reduction in spells.

Find Familiar (Spell)
Level: Wizard (Magic-user) 1
Range: 1-mile radius per caster level
Duration: See below
Magic-users of higher level often summon familiars to assist them with various tasks. Indeed, a familiar can also be of considerable benefit to a lower level magic-user (even increasing others’ estimation of his or her power), but the risks inherent in losing a familiar can be daunting to a weaker spell caster. To summon a familiar, the magic-user must intone the words of the spell over a well-stocked fire source, sprinkling the flames with expensive incense and powders (100 gp in total value). The caster must maintain his or her casting for as long as necessary (2d12 hours) until a familiar arrives (or the casting time expires without success).
The spell may be attempted only once per year, and the caster has no control over the type of animal that will respond. When it arrives, the familiar is a faithful servant and ally to the caster.
Normal familiars have 1d3+1 hit points, AC 7, and are as intelligent as a lower-than-average human. When the familiar is within 120 feet of the magic-user, the magic-user gains additional hit points equal to the familiar’s. However, if the familiar is ever killed, the magic-user permanently loses twice the familiar’s hit points.

For me the Read Magic and the identifying of magic items (based on an Int + Level check) sets the magic-user apart from not only other classes, but the witch as well. I decided that this was part of their training and experiences in school. I should also detail some of my ideas for a magic school but that would have to be for another time.

Next week a deep look at wizards and magic users with these customizations and XP values in mind.

Dear Harry, It's Not You, it's Me...

No. Actually. It's You.

I LOVE modern supernatural and horror games.  Just love them.  Even ones I don't get to play often I still enjoy reading.  Heck I have not played Mage in close to 10 years and I still want that giant Mage 20th anniversary book.

So why can't I get myself to love, or even like, The Dresden Files?

I am talking about the Fate-powered RPG, but I'll talk a bit about the books too.

I got these books for Christmas after they first came out in 2010.  Dresden Files (the books) were all the rage and that Summer my group had been playing a Chicago-based Ghosts of Albion/Angel/WitchCraft game.  It had some Dresden-esque elements, but mostly it was White Wolf's World of Darkness' Mage, Vampire and Werewolf as the backdrop.
I had started reading the books that September. I was commuting to work everyday for about an hour in and hour back not to mention doing a lot of flying, so I had plenty of time for audiobooks.   I devoured them.  It was especially fun when I was driving around Chicago hearing about Harry driving around Chicago.  Though I have to admit it is always amusing hearing/reading a non-Chicago native talk about the city in ways no native ever would. It's the Kennedy, not the JFK, and no one can get from the Loop to O'Hare in a few minutes. Ever. Jim Butcher has gotten better with this.

Around about the middle of the series I felt it was getting stale, but then it picked up with the new "Outsider" threat.  I will admit I have not read the last one yet and I have not been itching to do so.

The game on the other hand surprised me with it's production values and how nice it looked.  I loved the "hunter's notebook" feel to it.  Though to be 100% fair other games had done that long before.

But I never really ever got Fate.

Sure I had played around with Fudge in the past and I enjoyed the free-form it gave me.  I have even played around with Fate and many good starts.  But in the end the system falls flat for me.  Maybe. Maybe there is something good there I could use, but it's been 5 years, or 6+ if you count my experimentations with Fudge.

The Dresden Files RPG is the most complicated "simple" game I have ever read or played.  Seriously, 407 pages for a "simple" ruleset?  I know the Fate Core books are much smaller so a lot of this is setting and world-specific rules, but I can't help but feel it is overwrought.

It's not the mechanics. Mechanics are easy and in Fate ridiculously so.
It's not the aspects.  Though how the aspects could be used is certainly an issue for me.  Let's take Wolverine for example. He could easily have an aspect "Best at What I Do".  Will he get a re-roll or a +1 for "everything"?  No. I know this, but in the hands of a less deft game master this becomes little more than a ruleless game of pretend.

I know to people in the in-crowds of Fate I will be completely dismissed as an "old-school gamer" but the truth is I play a lot of games. Hell, Castle Falkenstein is one of my favorite games and it is hard to go more free-form than that.  I could also just as easily dismiss them for their smugness, but that does not make either of us correct.

Sitting net to my desk at home is a folder. It is full of character sheets for various systems.  I try them out, pick at them and sometimes those efforts show up here.  So far I have never been happy with my creations for Fate.  I picked up the new 3rd Edition of Chill and had characters in minutes. Fate is more of a collective role-playing experience.  That is great, if you want that or have a stable group.  I have a stable group, but I want "organic" characters.  Characters that feel and act like individuals, not part of a collective.

Fate tries to model a story. Either a book, movie or what have you.  Where the larger outcome is usually known.  I am not done reading this book but I am sure the protagonist survives.   Role-playing games are not books Their story telling techniques are different.

I think Fate works with the right groups, but it does require a degree of "playing well with others" that I don't often see in games.   I like the idea, I dislike the execution.  Which is interesting, because some of the die hard Fate players I have met at Cons are such ass-hats. Sorry if that is over generalization, but it has been remarkably and painfully consistent for me over the last 5 years. Yet in the same period of time I have played dozens of other games with various groups that have been great.

There are also pragmatic concerns for me.  Not to invoke the "douche" rule, but really what can I do with Fate that I can't do with Unisystem?  What can I do with the Dresden Files that I haven't already done with Ghosts of Albion?   Hell. I remember Fred Hicks back in the day on the old Eden boards talking about the Dresden Files and how WitchCraft 95% of what he wanted to do with it.  I'll contend that the other 5% can be found in Cinematic Unisystem.

I want to give Dresden Files one more chance, but in truth I know it is over.  We are done.
Don't know if I am going to sell off my Dresden Files game yet. I have one other "last fling" to do with it, but my Fate books are now gone.

Not looking for a reason to keep it, I am pretty sure it will end up on the auction block in the spring.
Better luck in your next home Harry.

Playing In Hyperborea

I have been wanting to run a campaign using Astonishing Swordsmen & Sorcerers of Hyperborea for some time now.

+Eric Fabiaschi over at "Swords & Stitchery - Old Time Sewing & Table Top Rpg Blog" has been doing a great set of Retro-Reviews of what I have been dubbing my "Second Campaign"

N1 Against the Cult of the Reptile God
U1 Sinister Secret of Saltmarsh
U2 Danger At Dunwater
U3 The Final Enemy
C1 The Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan

Now I just need some adventures for levels 7-12/13 (I like the idea of going to 13).

Originally I had a bunch of desert themed adventures, but they really never felt right to me to be honest.  Maybe I should be looking towards some of the newer OSR adventures like The Islands of Purple-Haunted Putrescence to fill out the other levels.

I like the idea of some stygian cult. Something that was a cross between Lovecraft, Howard and Clark Ashton Smith.  I think it might be fun if this cult was a Demogorgon cult too, just because.

He also reviewed some adventures I have already run or used under different systems.

B1 In Search of the Unknown
B3 Palace of the Silver Princess
B4 The Lost City
X1 Ilse of Dread
X2 Castle Amber
S4 The Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth

If you get a chance, stop by his blog and read the reviews.

Edited to Add: U3

Buried Alive!

Well sort of.

I have about a week's worth of email to get caught up on and a ton of blog postings to read.

Back when I can!

Zatannurday: Legends of Tomorrow

The newest trailer for DC's Legends of Tomorrow is now out.

It looks fantastic!




Rip Hunter, the Atom, Firstorm, Hawkgirl, White Canary?  Yeah sign me the hell up!
Damn even Captain Cold is great in this.

How cool would it be to see 1940s Zatara and 1960s Zatanna?

Here is a longer one.



Seriously sweet time to be a DC fan.

Friday Night Videos: Paint it Black

In "honor" of Black Friday here are some of my favorite songs/videos about black.


At least make an effort to stop at your FLGS this weekend.




"Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones takes us all the way back to 1966.  I will contend that this is the first "Goth" song recorded.




"Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin




"Back in Black" by AC/DC




"Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles.  Alannah Myles was the hottest thing on MTV for a while. She still is.




"Black" by Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam was the biggest thing in the 90s. This is either one of their most iconic performances or one of their most self-indulgent.  Either way cool song.




"Black Sunshine" by White Zombie. I do enjoy some White Zombie.




"Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden.




"Blue on Black" by Kenny Wayne Sheppard




And of course no discussion of black is complete without "Let's Make the Water Turn Black" by Frank Zappa & the Mothers of Invention