Wait? Is it 1982 again? More anti-D&D crap.

So the old "Dungeons and Dragons causes violence" meme has reared it's ugly head again.  This time from the particularly lazy journalism of Ms. Laurel J. Sweet and the Boston Herald.  Ms. Sweet put forth that golden chestnut that somehow playing the game Dungeons and Dragons is somehow linked to violent murder. In particular the ones Amy Bishop is accused of.

Now let me be clear here.  What ever Amy Bishop did or didn't do in her personal life is unimportant when dealing with the fact that she murdered three people, supposedly because she didn't get tenure.  We could just as easily blame the University tenure track or the pressures of a publish or perish environment.  I am sure people will blame the gun companies too.
Here is a novel idea.  Let's blame Amy Bishop.  She is the one that pulled the trigger after all.  Apparently she kept pulling till the gun jammed.

But my ire is not directed at Amy Bishop.  We have a court system, juries and a judge for her.  No mine is on the lazy, so called journalism of  Laurel J. Sweet.  Yeah I linked her name again.  Wonder why.

To make the claims or even allusions she is making are either laziness, a misguided attempt to push copy or a hidden conservative agenda.   She published not just one, but two articles on this.  At the risk of giving her exactly what she wants here are the links.  Use a browser that blocks ads if you wish to make a statement:

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view/20100215oddball_protrait_emerges_suspects_family_pals_offer_clues/srvc=home&position=0
and
http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1233150

So. why do I get so worked up about these things?  Well frankly stupid people piss me off, but smart people enabling stupid people to do more stupid things is worse.

See here is how it works.  Lazy journalist looking for a good byline writes fluff piece about D&D leading to murder.  Next thing you know some shit-for-brains religious fuck-wit then quotes the article as "expert testimony", then that person gets quoted as "reading up on all the latest literature", then it is used as "evidence" in a Wikipedia article and you get a snowball of stupid rolling down hill.

Next thing you know someone is digging up old Pat Pulling again and TLN is showing "Mazes & Monsters" in heavy rotation.

Ok to be fair I have no idea if TLN has ever shown "Mazes & Monsters".

It irritates me because it is lazy, and stupid.  Obviously the Boston Herald is trying to push copy and Ms. Sweet is only too happy to help.  But it is bad journalism.

I had my run ins with the D&D Satanic Panic of the 80's.  I was lucky to have had parents that were smart enough to know better than to listen to fundies and to trust their children.  Later on I dealt with Jack Chick personally and, if I may be so bold, came out the winner in that one.

The time I now spend playing D&D with my own children has been fantastic.  I have met some of the coolest people through this game and others like it.  It is a great past time full of great people who deserve better than being painted by the sloppy brush of Laurel J. Sweet.

Agree with me?  Why not let Laurel J. Sweet know yourself.  Reasonable, intelligent emails only.  Or even just something to convey your disappointment in a polite manner.

Don't give her anything else to write about.

Delay

So I have a post on magic in Cortex, but that is going to be delayed a bit.

I burned my hand this weekend making Pad Thai so typing is slow.
I am also not feeling too well today (cold).  So the post will be on it's way.  Just later than I wanted it.

Witches for D&D4

So a pause on my Cortex/Savage Worlds magic discussion for something that has been in the back of my mind for a while now.

Witches in D&D 4.
I go back and forth a lot on this.  Part of me feels that i don't need to do this, the Warlock sorta does what I would want in a witch, but not everything.  I am also of the frame of mind that characters in D&D4 play a certain role in the game and maybe the witch is not a good fit.

But then I come to the point where I am combing classes as hybrids, multiclasses and very specific feats to get what I want, and that is not what I want either.

So I am left with the conclusion that I come to time and time again in D&D.
If I want a witch I am going to have to make her myself.

I am currently doing that now for Spellcraft & Swordplay and looking to do it for Basic D&D clones and Advanced ones as well.  I already did it for 2nd Ed AD&D and 3.x D&D and each one felt a little different.
A witch in 4th Ed would have to feel different too.

Like the effort I went through for these previous editions I have to think about what role the witch would serve in this new game.  Here are my thoughts.

1. New Warlock pact
This is the easiest.  I come up with a new Warlock pact that is "witchy" enough for me.  The pros are there are already some very witch-like elements to the warlock and I am not inventing something new, just modifying something already out there.  I could call it something like an Occult Pact.  The would be warlock makes a pact with ancient Occult (hidden) beings that can be good, evil or otherwise.  The pact is something like a devotion so I have the "religion" angle and there are still reasons for clerics and wizards to mistrust them.  One of the criticisms of my 2nd ed witch book was there were really no wicked witches in it.  This I felt, after some reflection on my part,  was a reasonable criticism. With 4e then I have my cake and eat it too with the Dark, Infernal and even the Star pacts covering the wicked and/or mysterious witch.
While there are a lot of pros to this solution, there are some cons as well.
First, the warlock-as-a-witch is stuck in the striker role.  Not too bad really, but the witch in my mind has always been more of a controller.  Yes, yes I am using the new terms from the new game in the past tense.  It is easier to say that than say I have always seen the witch employing certain techniques like charm, mass blindness, controlling others, and polymorphs, all powers that the current Arcane Controller (wizard) does now.
It is enough of a mismatch that I am considering option 2.

2. Witch as her own Class
I have been thinking of the witch as her own class for some time now.   There are a lot of reasons to do this.  First it allows me to do what I want with her.  I can make her a controller for example.  Would I keep her Arcane?  I am thinking not, we have an arcane controller, the wizard, so maybe she should be something else.  The 4e Blackmoor book has the Wokan, which is an update of the old Wokanni class witch had been called the witch in previous editions of Basic D&D.  It has it's own power source.  So taking that as an example, maybe what I really want is a new power source.  The Occult Power source sounds cool.  Either that or Eldritch.  In any case these are ancient magics that bridge the gaps between Arcane, Divine, Primordial and Shadow.
The witch then is an Occult Controller.
I can also move the warlock over to become an Occult Striker.  We already have two Arcane Strikers, the Sorcerer and the Warlock.  This would limit the Paragon paths for the Warlock though.
I would still need an Occult Leader and an Occult Defender.  The Witch Knight from my 2nd Ed book and the Witch Guardian from my 3rd Ed book would combine to make an armor wearing, sword wielding Occult Defender.  No ideas yet on an Occult Leader.
The Pros are obviously I get exactly what I want.  The cons now though are pretty big.  Not only do I need to create a new class, but a whole new set of classes, paragon paths and associated magic items, feats and rituals.

Do I really want to do all that work?
Well. Chances are I am going to eventually.  But I don't need to do everything.  I am not planning on publishing this, so I am free to borrow what I need.
I have looked at several other witch classes for 4e and while they are ok, they don't really work for me.
But the 4e Blackmoor book seems to cover some of my bases.
I already decided that the Monk comes from Blackmoor, I guess I will be using the other classes as well.

The Arcane Warrior is perfect (nearly) as my Occult Defender, Witch Knight.  So I can use him as is.
There are two controllers, the Elderkin and the Idolater that also could work.  But that makes three controllers.  The Wokan is an interesting witch-like character, but it is also not perfect.  It is a "hybrid" role, which I don't care for, but I see the logic in.

I do have this other product, The Witch, from Svalin Games by Richard Lewis.  It's not a bad product, it's not perfect either.  But it does something rather interesting.  It makes the witch a Leader.  I could live with that.  A lot of her powers are Intelligence based, I would change that Charisma or Wisdom to be honest.  Most likely Wisdom.  While I can live with her in the Leader role, the Controller is still my preferred choice.

So where does this leave me now?

Well I can use all the above classes as part of an Occult Power grouping.  Each would need tweaks and edits to make them work well together.  And I might end up rewriting the witch all-together anyway.  But this is not a bad place to start I guess.  It does allow me to get more bang out of my Blackmoor buck and I like that.

Think I am going need to print out my PDFs and do some edits in pencil for these.  That's the other thing.  None of this (except the warlock) in in DDi and that is a pain.

The Future of D&D?

Could this be the future of D&D?

Surfacescapes

http://vimeo.com/7132858
http://www.koboldquarterly.com/k/article4080.php

http://www.etc.cmu.edu/projects/surfacescapes/

Surfacescapes uses Microsoft Surface (an input device and software) to emulate an hybrid table-top / CPRG environment for playing D&D 4th ed.

Granted I don't have 10 grand to dump into gaming right now (but I bet if I added up all the money I have spent in the last 30+ years...) and I am not sure how this would advance, but the ideas are limitless really.  Pre-configured adventures and monsters.  DDI already has some of this now.

I am going to keep an eye on this one.

This could be D&D 5th edition folks.

Cortex and Unisystem

I have a few posts about Cortex coming up and I am actually putting them on hold to put this one up first.

Cortex is a system I have talked about off and on. I like it. It has some neat things going for it. I have described it before as the funky love child of Unisystem and Savage Worlds and that is still a fair comparison. Cortex though is closer in nature to Unisystem I think. Like Unisystem, Cortex is designed to be a universal core rules system. Like Unisystem it has some very cool licensed properties; Supernatural being my favorite, but I have to admit I like Demon Hunters too.

So. Why don't I like Cortex more? Well. For starters I am not a fan of its thin magic system. Or rather, it's overly thin magic system. I will discuss that in a later post, but mostly outside of magic and dealing with normal humans, Cortex and Unisystem are roughly equal. In fact there is a lot overlap between the games.

Attributes are roughly the same. Strength = Strength, Dexterity = Agility, Constitution = Vitality, Intelligence = Intelligence, Willpower = Willpower and Perception = Alertness. Even the ranges are roughly the same. 1 = d2, 2=d4, 3=d6, 4=d8, 5=d10 and 6=d12, with the proper human mins and maxs lining up. Cortex even assumes the human average to be about d6, similar to Unisystem's 3. With the point buy systems Cortex's Veteran is roughly equal then Experienced Heroes in many Unisystem games. Life points are calculated differently, so I would stick to the system used in each game rather than a full conversion.

Skills are likewise roughly equal. Cortex has more skills and offers skill specializations, something that might work very nice ported over to Unisystem as a bridge for the Cinematic to Classic gap. I like the Skill Specializations. Nice way for more powerful characters to spend their points. I like it quite a lot to be honest, so much that I would consider it for a Cinematic/Classic Unisystem hybrid. Have Cinematic skills up to a certain point (say maybe 3) and then anything after that (4 and up) have to be specializations.

Unisystem characters get Qualities and Drawbacks. Cortex characters get Traits and Complications; and they get a few of those. This is fine really when dealing with normal humans. In the core rules there are still a few to choose from and there are others in the other, licensed material cores. In this respect it is closer to Savage Worlds. All three games have some overlap here, but each has something here and there to offer the others. Demon Hunters and Supernatural can get a boost from the likes of Buffy, Angel and Ghosts of Albion, while Unisystem gamers can get a different feel for their games from Demon Hunters and Supernatural. Adding Battlestar Galactica to the mix extends this even more. Ghosts of Albion/Angel/Buffy, Supernatural and Demon Hunters all live under the same basic idea; the supernatural is real and you need to fight it, though they all differ in approach. Mixing the games up a bit would be perfect for that Urban Fantasy genre that is so popular these days, with a perfect balance of fluff and crunch and rules-lite cinematic fun. While conversions are easy, some would be harder to convert. For example, a Cortex Vampire costs d6, in Unisystem Vampires are 15 pts. Granted they are different sort of vampires. But something like a Slayer or Protector would cost quite a bit in Cortex, and for the current games they have not really appropriate. I'd have to go through all the Demon and Supernatural creation rules (in Angel and Ghosts respectively) to see if they would convert fine to Cortex.

Magic though is an issue. Not surprising (and really nothing against the other games) I like Unisystem's magic the best. But looking over Cortex's base system, there is a lot of room to improve on what they have, adapt something else or grow something new! The magic system in Ghosts would work fine more or less as is. I would need to create a "Spellcasting" skill, to represent basic understanding and then specialize it out into various forms; say Kabalistic, Solomonic, FamTrad Witchcraft to go one route or even Alteration, Necromancy, Illusion for another or even more basic, Arcane, Divine, Psionic. Lots of choices really. Just need to sit down pen to paper one day and do it. But this one sounds the best to me so far, though I have a lot of ideas.

Cortex has at least one thing going for it that I do like over Unisystem; the step-die mechanic. Not that I don't like Unisystem's 1d10 (or even my 2d6 variant), I do. But the die + die gives a nice set of probability curves over die + fixed numbers.

So now all that is left is to test my conversions. So what is a good choice? Well I need a good Unisystem character that could also exist in a Cortex world. Sounds like a great excuse for me pull out Vampire Tara! In my Unisystem games Tara and Willow are still alive and together, and in one adventure they came across a vampire version of Tara, from another reality. Well. Amber Benson played a vampire named Lenore in Supernatural. Sounds like a perfect choice. You can see her Unisystem stats here, http://edenstudiosdiscussionboards.yuku.com/forum/viewtopic/id/3558. You can use these stats for Vampire Tara or Vampire Lenore as you like.

Vampire Tara
Agi d10 Str d12 Vit d10 Ale d12 Int d6 Wil d10

Init d10 + d6 LP 20
Endurance d10 + d10

Traits Allure d4, Amorous d4, Sharp Senses d6

Skills Athletics d6/Acrobatics d10, Drive d6/Horses d8, Influence d4, Knowledge d6/Occultism d12, Melee Weapons d6, Perception d6, Science d2, Unarmed Combat d6

Comparing these stats to those of "Kate" in the Supernatural Corebook I am fairly pleased. Conversions seem to work out very nice.

So, given this, maybe I should run a Vampire Willow and Tara game using Cortex. I think it could be really fun and work. Play a couple of vampires on the run various hunters, sort of the opposite of most Unisystem fare, but not quite World of Darkness.

Tolkienesque Fantasy

So. I had this dream last night. It was basically a 60s British sit-com called “Tolkienessque Fantasy”.

The idea is that all the things that Tolkien wrote about were actually real. There is a real “Middle Earth” and Hobbits and all that. He would “go down there” and report his findings in books. Silly? Yes. It gets sillier.

So you have Professor Tolkien circa 1960-1965, and he has two college students. William, his studious grad student, Polly, a ditzy undergrad and his secretary/housemaid Donna, who for reasons I am not clear on, was called “Dondo”. Polly and William were both very Mod.

So this lot would adventure every week down to Middle Earth. William would approach Professor Tolkien about some minor detail about Middle Earth history (I suppose there are courses in Middle Earth history at Oxford in 1961) and Tolkien (who seemed very Hobbit like) would declare “I don’t know. Shall we go down to ask Bilbo?” and off they would go on one madcap adventure after the next.

Did I mention that all my dreams are usually this detailed?

Anyway, I thought it might make a fun game model. It’s one part “The Hobbit”, one part “The Chronicles of Narnia”, a tiny part “Doctor Who”, and a little bit of “Are You Being Served?” and “Faulty Towers”. Approach Middle Earth from a modern frame of reference. Played totally as a farce mind you. This wouldn’t be Tolkien’s Middle Earth, or even Jackson’s or Bashi’s. Maybe it would be Rankin-Bass, but there is an obvious cartoon element here.

So if I ever get the desire to run a 60s game and don’t want to get into all the drug culture or psychedelica of the time, I might try this.

The Young Ones

And now.  Something silly.

Once in every lifetime
Comes a love like this.
I need you and you need me.
Oh my darling can't you see.

The young ones,
Darling we're the young ones,
And young ones shouldn't be afraid.

To live, love
There's song to be sung,
For we won't be the young ones very long.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtEbPOOu-Bw

(Character descriptions stolen from Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Young_Ones_%28TV_series%29 )

Rick: Oh no, the front door's exploded. Vyvyan.
Mike: Vyvyan.
Vyvyan: Vyvyan, Vyvyan, Vyvyan. Honestly, whenever anything explodes in this house it's always 'Blame Vyvyan'.


Neil Pye

Name: Neil Pye
Alias: Neil the Hippie
Played by: Nigel Planer
Type: Pacifist Hippie

Neil: Oh, look, I know, I know, why not put "boomshanka"?
Mike: Ahh... that's hard to tell, Neil. What does it mean?
Neil: It means "may the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman".

Life Points: 25
Drama Points: 10

Attributes
Strength 2
Dexterity 2
Constitution 1
Intelligence 3
Perception 4
Willpower 4

Qualities
Hmm...he is the only one that cleans the house. Hard to Kill (though he does manage to get killed) 2, Natural Toughness.

Drawbacks
Emotional Problems (Depression, Severe; Fear of rejection, Severe), Bad Luck 3, Honorable 1, Humorless, Mental Problems (Delusions Sleep will give you cancer, Severe; Obsession pacifism, vegetarianism, Severe; Paranoia Deranged) , Outcast, Resources (Miserable),

Skills
Acrobatics 0
Art 2
Computers 0 (he hates technology)
Crime 1
Doctor 1
Driving 1
Getting Medieval 0 (Pacifist)
Gun Fu 0 (still a Pacifist)
Influence: 0
Knowledge 3
Kung Fu 0 (yeah)
Languages 1
Mr. Fix-It 3
Notice 3
Occultism 2 (only because he has a personal devil)
Science 1 (limited to Natural Sciences)
Sports 1
Wild Card

Neil Pye, the hippie, is a clinically depressed, suicidal pacifist, vegetarian and environmentalist working towards a Peace Studies degree. He is victimised by other housemates (especially Rick and Vyvyan) and forced to do the housework, including shopping, cleaning and cooking. He is never acknowledged for it unless it goes wrong.

Neil is pessimistic and believes everyone and everything hates him, a belief which is mostly true, though he does have some friends, two hippies, one also named Neil and one named Warlock. He dislikes technology (except for videos) and speaks out for Vegetable Rights and Peace. He is a chronic insomniac, believing that "sleep gives you cancer".

Neil wants the others to feel sorry for him, or even just to acknowledge his presence. His attention-seeking antics range from repeatedly banging himself on the head with a frying pan to attempting suicide. He claims that "the most interesting thing that ever happens to me is sneezing". This is because whenever he sneezes, it causes a large explosion.

In the second series his parents (who appear in the episode "Sick") are revealed to be upper middle class. They are conservative Tories who look down on Neil for starring in such a disreputable comedy series.

He also says 'heavy' a lot.

Neal in Modern Games: Neal is still living in the house and working on his Peace Studies degree. He does not know that the other guys have left, since they never told him, and thinks they just have been avoiding him for 25 years.


Rick

Name: Rick
Alias: Prick (the p is silent), The Peoples Poet, Rick the Complete Bastard
Played by: Rik Mayall
Type: Communist Bastard

Rick: Neil, the bathroom's free. Unlike the country under the Thatcherite junta.

Life Points: 22
Drama Points: 15

Attributes
Strength 2
Dexterity 2
Constitution 1
Intelligence 3
Perception 2
Willpower 2

Qualities
Is complete and utter bastard a quality? If so Rick has it in supernatural levels.

Drawbacks
Adversary (Vyvyan), Emotional Problems (Easily Flustered; Fear of rejection, Mild), Bad Luck 1, Mental Problems (Coward, Severe; Cruelty, Mild unless it is directed towards Neil then Severe; Delusions is charming and intelligent, Severe; Obsession Cliff Richards, Severe; Paranoia Severe; Zealot(communism, socialism, Rickism), Severe), Resources (Miserable), Talentless/Dullard

Skills
Acrobatics 1
Art 2 (he thinks its 5)
Computers 0
Crime 2
Doctor 1
Driving 0
Getting Medieval 1 (but it refers only the medieval police state he is living now)
Gun Fu 0
Influence: -2
Knowledge 2
Kung Fu 1
Languages 1
Mr. Fix-It 0
Notice 1
Occultism 0
Science 2
Sports 0
Wild Card

Rick is a self-proclaimed anarchist who is studying sociology and/or domestic sciences (depending on the episode). Rick writes poetry and calls himself "The People's Poet".

Rick is a hypocritical, tantrum-throwing attention-seeker who loves Cliff Richard. Rick tries to impress the others with his non-existent wit, talent and humour. He verbally insults (and often physically assaults) Neil at every opportunity. He fights and bickers with Vyvyan and often attempts to impress Mike.

Rick is also vegetarian and wishes all men to love each other like brothers. However, he rarely does anything that can be attributed to brotherly love.

Rick is portrayed as unlikeable and so self-absorbed that he believes he is the "most popular member of the flat" even though his housemates hate him (Vyvyan describes Rick's name as being spelled "with a silent P"). Despite the fact that the other members dislike and disregard Rick, at one point he is heard to say that they "really are terrific friends."

Believing himself to be the 'People's Poet' or the "spokesperson for a generation", Rick often greatly exaggerates or lies about his political activism and class background and is exposed in the final episode "Summer Holiday", when it is suggested he comes from an upper class, Conservative background.

While he perceives himself as an anarchist, he is actually very fond of ideals produced by Vladimir Lenin and Leon Trotsky and states his interests in them in several episodes. However, he claims to have a dislike of Margaret Thatcher, as is noted by his efforts to threaten her with a bomb in the eponymously named episode "Bomb." This is also noticed in "The Young Ones Book," first published by Sphere Books, wherein negative references are made to both Thatcher and The Conservative Party.

Rick speaks loudly and cannot pronounce his "r"s.

Rick in Modern Games: Rick died in 1985 before receiving his degree in a student protest march. Rick thought it was for an anti-Thatcher march, but it instead was to protest the replacement of Coke with New Coke in the student commons.
He is now haunting a castle in Scotland that houses a magic school.

Vyvyan Basterd

Name: Vyvyan Basterd
Alias: Vyvyan the punk rocker
Played by: Adrian Edmondson
Type: Anti-social Bastard

Vyvyan: What we need is a large consignment of very hard drugs.

Life Points: 49
Drama Points: 15

Attributes
Strength 5
Dexterity 2
Constitution 4
Intelligence 3
Perception 3
Willpower 2

Qualities
Fast Reaction Time, Hard to Kill

Drawbacks
Mental Problems (Anti-Social impulses, Deranged; Cruelty, Deranged; Obsessions, Mild; Paranoia, Mild; Recklessness, Deranged), Resources (Miserable),

Skills
Acrobatics 1
Art -1
Computers 0
Crime 3
Doctor 2 (he is pre-med after all)
Driving 2
Getting Medieval 4 (practically his middle name)
Gun Fu 1
Influence: 3
Knowledge 3
Kung Fu 2
Languages 1
Mr. Fix-It 2
Notice 1
Occultism 1
Science 2
Sports 3
Wild Card

Vyvyan is an orange-haired, mohawked punk rocker and medical student. He is extremely violent and regularly attacks Neil and Rick with pieces of wood, cricket bats and other large objects. He never harms Mike, whom he respects. He despises Rick more than he does Neil, taking every opportunity to insult and attack him. For example, when Rick, Mike and Neil meet his mother at a bar in the episode "Boring", he calls both Neil and Mike his friends, but not Rick, whom he refers to as "a complete bastard." Ironically, the antagonistic relationship between Rick and Vyvyan makes them all but inseperable; by a wide margin, the two spend more time together than apart or with the other housemates.

Vyvyan owns a yellow Ford Anglia, with red flames painted along the sides, and a Glaswegian hamster named Special Patrol Group ("SPG" for short) which he is very fond of, although SPG is also frequently subjected to Vyvyan's extreme violence. His mother is a barmaid and former shoplifter who before "Boring" had not seen Vyvyan in ten years and has no idea who his father is.

Vyvyan displays feats of inhuman strength on occasion (moving entire walls with his bare hands, lifting Neil above his head in a fight with Rick, biting through a brick and even being decapitated and re-attaching his own head), and eats just about anything; televisions, dead rats, cornflakes, or cornflakes with ketchup.

Despite being a homicidal maniac, Vyvyan seems quite sociable and creative; In one episode ("Flood"), he has developed his own potion to transform a person into an axe-wielding homocidal maniac (he claims "it's basically a cure...for not being an axe-wielding homocidal maniac...the potential market's enourmous!"). He has more friends than the others but apparently "he doesn't like any of them." He frequently causes havoc or damage such as wiring the doorbell to a bomb and adding a 289 CID Ford V-8 engine to the vacuum cleaner which proceeds to suck up the carpet, the floorboards and a friend of Neil's (the vacuum also prompted one of the few clashes between Vyvyan and Mike; when Mike admonished Vyv not to use it anymore, Vyv replied by calling him a "poof"). Disturbingly, Vyvyan also appears to be the only member of the group with a driving licence.

Vyvyan in Modern Games: Vyvyan became a very successful plastic surgeon.


Mike

Name: Mike
Alias: "the Cool Person"
Played by: Christopher Ryan
Type: Con-artist

Mike: Neil, have you upset the neighbors?
Neil: No, I've blown them up.

Life Points: 26
Drama Points: 15

Attributes
Strength 2
Dexterity 3
Constitution 2
Intelligence 4
Perception 4
Willpower 5

Qualities
Charisma 1, Criminal (Con Man)

Drawbacks
Covetous (Greedy, Desperate; Lechery, Serious; Ambition, Desperate; Conspicuousness; Serious), Mental Problems (Anti-social, Mild), Resources (Miserable),

Skills
Acrobatics 1
Art 2
Computers 1
Crime 5
Doctor 1
Driving 0
Getting Medieval 1
Gun Fu 2
Influence: 6
Knowledge 3
Kung Fu 1
Languages 1
Mr. Fix-It 2
Notice 4
Occultism 0
Science 1
Sports 2
Wild Card

Mike was the odd-one-out of the four. He is the assumed leader of the group, despite his diminutive size, and does not involve himself in the battles between the other three. He makes puns, which are either deliberately cheap or humorous but over-celebrated.

He frequently utters confusing, profound-sounding phrases which baffle the others (for example, when asked by Rick if he stole his apple, Mike replies "Well, if you're gonna sin you might as well be original."). Mike is supposedly the ladies' man of the bunch and brags about his prowess with women, although he is eventually forced to admit his virginity to the others in "Nasty." Though he is a virgin, as are the rest of the housemates, he makes every attempt at wooing the opposite sex, being quite forward and unsuccessful.

A con artist, he always has some kind of plan to make quick money such as renting out Rick's bedroom as a roller disco and soliciting bids for the unexploded atom bomb that fell into the house. Mike attends Scumbag College only nominally as he has blackmailed his tutor and the Dean of the school for grants and apparently passing grades. In "Summer Holiday" he muses "I think I'll ask for one of those Ph.D.s next year."

While Mike often does things at the expense or detriment of his housemates, he rarely expresses the sort of open hostility that the others do, and seems to cause them trouble only when it benefits him, rather than out of sadistic joy. He has, however, managed to nail his own legs to a table, and knocked Neil out during a game of cricket, albeit unintentionally. We only see violence inflicted on him once (at the end of the "Living Doll" video, when Vyvyan knocks him unconscious with a hammer).

Mike in Modern Games: Mike bought and conned his way to a seat on the House of Lords where he was instrumental in working on the committee to elect Mr. Harold Saxon.