Tuesday, September 24, 2024

In Search Of...Bruno's Earth

 Who is Bruno? What is his Earth? Is there a Bruno's Mars? Why am I searching for it? These questions...are not likely to get fully answered, but I will give it a try in this segment of "In Search Of..."

So I found this curiosity on Amazon a while back. Two books, super cheap called "Bruno's Earth Game Book" and "Bruno's Earth Creature Manual."

Bruno's Earth

Here is a quote from the Amazon page.

This is an expansion to the game that fills in the holes and gets rid of the obscure contradictory rules. It is more consitent and more detailed, yet easier to play. The games on the shelves these days are so complex and have so many volumes of rules, a dozen lawyers couldn't sort it out. Bruno's Earth goes back to the beginning and rebuilds from scratch, enhancing all aspects that make the game fun to play and fizes all the problems that made it hard to play. Bruno's Earth is a trim, detailed, cohesive game system that is fun to play and easy to learn.

I mean, this is no different than hundreds of forgotten Fantasy Heartbreakers out there. What makes this one special, or more to point, notorious? 

Here are some bold claims on the back covers.

Bruno's Earth

The author is listed as "Jim Patrick Guyer."  Now there is Jim Patrick Guyer, who is an author and invented a game called Diamond Chess (old, inactive URL: http://diamondchess.net/) who passed away in 2021. I can't confim that this is the one and only Jim Patrick Guyer. Goodreads seems to think so, but that does not mean a lot.  He does have a hotmail email address, so that at least gives some evidence this is old. 

BrunosEarth.com listed in the Game Book was first indexed back in 2011. A coming soon page was up for a while, then it went blank.

thread on ENWorld claims that it is from 1986. An ISBN search for Bruno's Earth Game Book does list Jan 14, 1986, as the publication date. This is likely for the 10-digit ISBN and not the newer 13-digit one.

An ISBN search for Bruno's Earth Creature Manual says it was registered in 2012. I am not sure why there is a 26-year gap when the books are obviously contemporaneous. Though that could just be in their current forms/format. Further searches only bring up the Amazon pages.

In truth, outside of the ISBN registration, I can't see much else for these books. 

There are no threads on RPG.net for it. Same with Dragonsfoot

I tried searching the Usenet, but all the search engines I used to use are behind paywalls now.

That is just the foundational searching. What about the books themselves?

Bruno's Earth

These books are the pretense of a game. Despite the author's claim these are not what AD&D Second Ed should have been. Not even close.

The game book is 136 pages, and the monster book is 92 pages.

Bruno's Earth Game Book

Ok, I really have no idea what this is about. 10 pages for a Table of Contents (that's about 8% of the whole book). I am not sure what bugs me more. The only original art (that I can tell) is bad, the ComicSans font, or the text on the page. 

What do I mean? Well out of the gate one of our player races is an Albino. Yikes. We also get Hobbits. So lets just get everyone to sue us all at once. 

Of note, the art here includes some gray-scale, descaled versions of D&D 3rd Edition art.  

Characters have 8 Ability scores, the normal 6 plus Memory and Comeliness, and are generated using 3d6, 3d20, and 4d24.  How?? Don't ask me.

I could go on, but reading the rules are giving me a headache. That or the ComicSans font.  I was hoping there were some ideas here I could mine, but no. Not really.

Brunos's Earth Creature Manual

Again, I do love monster books. But this one is testing my patience. 

The monsters are divided up into broad categories (Natural, Super-Natural, Elemental, Undead), then alphabetically. These are largely copied from the AD&D 1st Monster Manual, with some from theFiend Folio and Monster Manual II.  There are no demons or devils.

There are some new monsters. Skrags, a type of undead, some new dragons. There is one, an Orinthopter. It is listed with the Golems under Elementals. The image looks like a crudely drawn glider or kite. There needs to be a description on what this is supposed to be. Is it a construct? An object? It has a Wisdom score, so is it alive?

Look, I could keep on going, but I won't. The author is not around anymore and there is no need for me to be a dick here.

I am not sure how this thing got onto my radar but I have it and no idea what to do with it.

As I said before, it is notable due to its mystery, availability on Amazon, and the author. There might be a story here, but I need help to dig up. I have been researching this since December 2023 and working on this post since June 2024.

In this case, my deep dive gives us nothing.

3 comments:

PT Dilloway said...

Does it ever say who Bruno is? The art looks slightly better than Napoleon Dynamite-level. You'd think there'd be fan clubs for something so obscure and weird, but I guess we don't talk about Bruno.

Dick McGee said...

I had to double check that the date hadn't inexplicably become April 1st, and even after following the links I remain unconvinced that this isn't some kind of elaborate fakery by someone.

The_Myth said...

You bought that hot mess??

I must hae first spotted them on Amazon c.2015 when looking for something cheap to add to an order to make it over $25. The rip-off covers were a dead giveaway it wasn't worth buying.